Stop Breathe Believe — All That Matters Is How We Love

How do we love? When do we feel love? How do we desire to love more deeply? When we say love, what do we even mean? How do we touch another’s heart in a way that matters? How do we want to be loved? How could we love?

How do we navigate love? I love the artistic vision Meg Hulse (mpulsestudio.com) captures in the L O V E compass painting above. Isn’t that beautiful, how she challenges us to visually break love down into smaller pieces? Just as in hiking and metaphorically, for life, each step is valuable. Each small step in the intended direction makes a difference, even when we love imperfectly. I know I so yearn for deep connection with others but at times find myself trying to configure protection for my heart instead. Oh, yes, the magnificent risk of it all.

When it comes to love, we might immediately think of an intimate love relationship. I am thinking more of a broader definition of love. Brené Brown describes love like this: “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get, it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal and the withholding of affection damages the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare.”

Let’s consider the beauty and significance of our hands as an instrument of cultivating and extending love. If we could pause for a moment and look at our hands…really look at our hands…what do we see?

What do we observe as we gaze at the top of our hands - the color, the beauty, our judgments towards our hands (too big, too little, too freckled, too this, too that); maybe a scar or callous representing an experience; how we may have adorned them – painted nails, rings, tattoos. And then, gently turning them over, observing the palms of our hands – the lines, the uniqueness of our fingerprints, the amazing abilities our hands possess. And for those of us who may not have two hands, from an accident or from birth – the pain of feeling vulnerable in adapting and accepting the loss may surface once again.

How do our hands represent the maps of how we have navigated life? Can you see in your hands the history of your life? The heritage of your mother’s hands, your father’s?

How do our hands represent the compass by which we continue to navigate life on a daily basis? Can you reflect on the ways that your hands love and care for both yourself and for others every day?

What tender touch can we offer another today? Could we tenderly serve coffee to someone we love? Open the door – both literally and figuratively - for another with warmth and welcome? Clasp our hands in prayer – what a radiant gesture of love – on behalf of another?

Let’s not forget ourselves. How can we soothe a hurt within ourselves, a heartache, a hunger, by meeting it with loving touch? Can we take a moment to place a hand gently to the skin near our hearts? Clasp our hands in prayer on behalf of ourselves?

“Love is a Verb” is written on a chalkboard that has hung in our house for over twenty years. I don’t want to forget that, the active tense of love. The moment-to-moment power of reaching out to another, the meaningful support of a wiped tear, a story shared, a time set aside to listen. A time to listen carefully, not with the idea of what will I say next – but to listen for the heart, for the opening, for the movement of growth amidst the grit. May each of our homes, our apartments, our cubicles, our cars, our spaces be overflowing with intentional love.

We are in a challenging time now as we navigate uncertainty and growing edges in our culture, in our cities, in our smaller communities, in our hearts. How do we navigate love, even when the work is difficult? How do we use our hands to love in a way that matters? What are the little things, the daily touchpoints, that we can offer one another?

Roger’s poetic heart continues to encourage me in how to love and care for others. His poem below was actually the inspiration for this month’s writing. Enjoy.

All That Matters

by Roger Jones

Some things that matter -

Setback, off-track, battered heart falls apart,
Hurt done, death stuns, mean sun, dry run
Skies of gray, bills to pay, world changing, conflict raging
Burn out, blowout, emotions raw, last straw.

But wait, could it be
that–

All that matters is how we love*

So, might we try–

Giving gifts, outlook shifts, listen close, caring most
Not to judge, nor begrudge, hold out grace, give some space,
Empathy driven, wrong forgiven, time spent, goodwill meant
Being there, offer prayer, keep in touch, love so much.

*from a song by Beth Nielsen Chapman

This month, as we focus on All That Matters Is How We Love, I will be sharing images of hands – loving hands, time-worn hands, little hands, hands that work hard, hands that are tender and precious, hands demonstrating love. Along with the images of hands, I will be sharing various perspectives on love. May we be inspired and encouraged to love deeply and to reach out and touch another in a caring and meaningful way.

You may follow me on Instagram or Facebook for daily posts or you may download the PDF here or at www.diannemorrisjones.com for the images and daily reflections.