Stop Breathe Believe - The Time is NOW for Loving Soul Care
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We all long to live wholeheartedly – with authenticity and joy, in a way that honors our true selves and brings our gifts into being. But often our unhealthy thinking gets in the way. Stop Breathe Believe™ (SBB) is a simple yet powerful process that can help us pause/stop the stream of thoughts flowing through our minds and become aware/mindful of the one thought that we might want to replace. After this mindful moment of discernment, we gently shift into a state of calm openness and focus on our breath – allowing a few breaths to come in…a few breaths to go out. We pay attention to the strength of our breath, the pace of our breath, the rhythm of our breath. We then choose a belief statement that would be healthy for our minds, our hearts, our souls, our relationships, our thriving self.
It seems so simple, these three easy steps: stop, breathe, believe. But while the concept IS manageable, and consists of three simple steps, the process is challenging. Why? Because we are working with a lifetime of thoughts and patterns of thinking that we have adapted through the years. For whatever reason we have done so, these patterns of thinking may not be serving us well now.
One thought at a time, however, we may now choose to be more intentional in our thinking. We may now choose to be more responsive instead of reactive. We may now choose to be more compassionate to others. We may now choose to be more open in how we relate to others who are different than we are – because we are different, too. We may now choose to be kinder and more compassionate to ourselves. We may now desire to practice self-care. We may now choose to become more consistent in our exercising. We may now choose to exercise for health. We may now choose to eat healthier. All of these things could be integrated with the Stop, Breathe, Believe practice.
Even the last few weeks when we were hiking in the Tetons and Yellowstone, I was relying on SBB to calm my anxiety. I am very afraid of bears. A respectful fear of bears is wise, but I am crazy fearful of bears! One day we are hiking down from Hidden Falls in the Tetons and a lady shows us a pic of a grizzly “just up the way, on the trail.” JUST UP THE WAY??? ON THE TRAIL??? My heart was racing, and I could not fathom how all of these people were just hiking along. We were as prepared as we could be, with a bear bell so as not to startle them as we turned a bend, and plenty of bear spray, but I was anxious.
And now we had no choice but to come down the trail where a bear had been spotted. The signs say to be “bear aware,” meaning to watch your surroundings, but I needed no encouragement to do so. I fearfully, vigilantly, frantically searched for the bear as we continued hiking. In the end, we got to the end of the trail and we did NOT encounter the bear. But I had spent the rest of the hike worrying that we would.
I am a huge fan of contemplative hiking – paying deep attention to what is in front of me, soaking it in, praying and meditating along the way. But when there is the possibility of encountering bears, my normal contemplative practice could be easily replaced by fear and anxiety, as it had been that day.
The next day we were scheduled to go to Yellowstone, a place known for its grizzly population. I could have chosen to skip the hike, but I was NOT going to miss that. Not an option for this adventurous soul! However, I also wanted to choose not to miss the contemplative piece of hiking – one of the reasons we love hiking so much. Absorbing the beauty, taking it all in, paying attention to the flowers, the bark on the trees, the colors, the waterfall, the sounds of the birds, the deer ahead of us on the trail…these experiences are precious.
Photo Credit: Dianne Morris Jones
So, the next day I wore my red, yellow and green Stop Breathe Believe socks as a reminder to focus on my thoughts, to care for my heart, to be wise about the bears, AND to choose believable green statements that kept my thoughts from going awry.
I was so grateful to have brought these socks as a reminder for me to focus on my thoughts. The power of our thoughts is amazing. Some of my green thoughts (or what one seven-year-old practitioner of SBB calls “believements”) for the day were: You are brave. Your worrying about a bear around every rock is not going to create a bear or make a bear go away – it is ok to relax and enjoy. Be bear aware – ring that bell for your safety. Being adventurous is adrenaline-producing…pay attention to that in your body. Stop and see the beauty; Breathe in the aroma of the pines; Believe that you are being wise and are prepared in what to do if you meet a bear.
The day was beautiful and I was able to stay focused most of the time. Again, we met another hiker who told us of a bear up ahead. Again, we had a choice to not go further. We did not turn around. We continued to see the most beautiful scenery, experience the forest, relax and enjoy the hike. Roger later commented, “I was surprised you didn’t want to turn around after hearing about the bear on the trail.” I held up my hiking boots and showed him my socks. “Oh, I get it,” he said.
Photo Credit: Roger Jones
Whether it’s everyday thoughts or thoughts about bears, SBB is a way to help us be more responsive and less reactive in life. Then, we can pay attention to the life-giving parts of our hearts and be resilient in our choices.
What is your bear? What causes you anxiety? Is it the hard conversation with a loved one? The troubling situation at work? The uncertain diagnosis? The “Am I enough?” thoughts? The “I am too much?” thoughts?
Although I wrote Stop Breathe Believe: Mindful Living One Thought at a Time eight years ago, readers and clients have been sending me emails and sharing stories of how it has been helpful throughout the pandemic, and all of the other trauma going on in our world. I’ve been amazed and inspired by how people are relying on SBB as a resource of resilience in walking into our new way of being. So, this month, I want to share with you some ideas and nuggets from the book on how you might choose to refresh or enhance the practice for yourself.
First and foremost, I will encourage you to start small and focus on one specific area you are struggling with or working through. As you are able to practice SBB in this area, you will become more mindful with your thoughts, your feelings, and your behaviors, and then be able to interpolate the practice into other areas of your life.
Once you’ve identified the focus area you’d like to work on, try out this simple process:
Each day, recognize and write down three Stop/Red thoughts that you would like to change in the focus area.
Practice paying attention to your breath for three minutes each day. As three minutes is the average length of a song, you can practice breathing during one song per day.
Create three Green Statements/Believements around the area for growth you have chosen.
