Bridges and Wedge
/Bridges and Wedges
June 1, 2022
Photo taken at Huntington Botanical Center, San Marino, Texas.
Am I a bridge builder or a wedge driver in my relationships? The time and energy of a reflective process of distinguishing between the two can be insightful. Discerning whether we are a bridge builder or a wedge driver—in our thoughts, in our feelings, in our behaviors—is an awareness practice that invites us to open our hearts and look closely at our intentions.
On an elementary level, a bridge is something that connects two things that are apart. A wedge is something that drives two things apart.
Photo taken of the Elisabeth Bridge in Budapest, Hungary.
A bridge is a structure built to span a physical obstacle such as a body of water, valley, road or rail without blocking the way underneath. It is constructed for the purpose of providing passage over the obstacle, which is usually something that is difficult or impossible to cross.
A wedge is 1) a piece of a substance such as wood or iron that tapers to a thin edge and is used for splitting wood and rocks, raising heavy bodies, or for tightening by being driven into something, 2) something causing a breach or separation or something used to initiate an action or development.
What are things we can do to build a bridge in our relationships that are struggling and/or to create healthy, lasting relationships? Some examples might be a call, a text, any form of communication, a prayer, an act of kindness, a walk together, a courageous conversation and/or looking for the best in another.
What are some things we do that drive a wedge in our relationships that are struggling and/or that undermine healthy, lasting relationships? Some examples might be judgment, blaming, pulling away, choosing not to communicate, withholding love and/or contemptuous conversation.
Artwork by Dianne Morris Jones.
The idea of small acts of kindness is appropriate here in that it can be small actions that are bridge-building acts and it can also be small acts, or maybe lack of action, that can cause wedges in relationships. At times, a small action can be a huge step!
Our relationships are fluid and dynamic. Often in counseling we are working through various scenarios involving relationships. Recall Viktor Frankl’s famous quote: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.“ I would also say that in that space—especially in relationships—we have a choice to reach out in a loving, kind and caring way, or act in a way that is unkind, un-attentive or uncommunicative. The questions to ask ourselves for our growth and our freedom is what are the things we can do to be a bridge builder in our relationships—with others as well as the relationship we have with ourselves? What are the things we do that create wedges in our relationship—with others as well as the relationship we have with ourselves?
The Bridges
by Roger C. Jones
Bridges, be they the Golden Gate, Brooklyn or
Madison County, are constructed of steel and
concrete and cable. They glistened in sunlight,
stately standing to provide passage over streams,
rivers, bays and sometimes seas. We drive over
them barely paying attention to their provision of
safe and efficient passage. People fish on them,
take pictures, even bungee jump from them
…but there are other kinds of bridges…
What if the bridge is one of us saying
I’m sorry for the harsh comment I made?
Maybe the bridge is a timely text citing
“You’ve got this one, friend!”
Perhaps the bridge is that phone call you
made to me when my mother had passed?
What if the bridge is getting out of our comfort
zone and reaching out to a stranger in need?
These are the bridges constructed from love,
thoughtfulness, empathy and compassion.
They stand through the ages, spanning the
gulfs that would hold us as isolated islands and
strand us apart.
This month we will focus on words of encouragement inviting us to build bridges in our relationships—both with ourselves and with others.
May we create some time to reflect on the beauty, the value and the stability of the bridges we build as we yearn and cultivate connection with one another. You may follow me on Facebook or Instagram for daily encouragement and reflective questions. If you are not on social media, you may click on the button below and find the photography and the reflections.
