Do you ever get frustrated when you are driving down the road and suddenly… you encounter speed bumps? We were recently driving on a highway in Canada and were surprised to see signs alerting us to six upcoming speed bumps – on a highway! As we bumped over the first two we remarked that this was something we had never seen before. And then… b…u…m…p… pick up a little speed… b…u…m…p again. After bump #4 we noted a series of homes on the right side of the highway. That’s when we realized that this small community had apparently petitioned for speed bumps to be installed to slow the highway traffic and enhance the safety and quality of their neighborhood.

Those speed bumps may be frustrating to drivers in a hurry—or simply perplexing to drivers like us who couldn’t yet see their purpose—but installing them was a very wise move for the community. It got me thinking about how helpful it would be if we too could periodically encounter speed bumps in our lives that would require us to slow down. Many of us maintain overpacked and busy schedules. We may know that slowing down from time to time would be wise. But it is often so hard to execute.

What if we intentionally placed a few speed bumps in our lives to bring moments of pause into our schedules? One of my previous clients, a trucker, was working on his marriage and his struggles with his adult children. He was on a busy and highly regulated schedule that left him little time for himself and little control over his workdays. He decided to try pulling over for 30 minutes each day – the time allotted for his lunch that he rarely took advantage of. He chose to give himself 20 minutes to enjoy his sandwich and 10 minutes to write in his journal. I recall the “aha” life-giving moments he had during his self-imposed daily “speed bump”. After a week or two, his wife told him she noticed a bounce in his step and asked him what he was so excited about. His response? “I’m excited about life! I’m working on my outlook and I want to work on our life together.” Speed b…u…m…p…s… can indeed be life-giving.

What are some speed bumps we could thoughtfully and mindfully place in our day? As I seek guidance in life, one of the greatest speed b…u…m….p…s I place for myself and for the nurturing of my soul is journaling and prayer. I think one of my unwritten goals is to wear out the green velvet couch where I journal each morning. As I journal, I light a candle and ask God to radiate light and love through me.

As we all know, however, many of the speed bumps we encounter are the ones we didn’t anticipate, the ones few of us would choose. We all have them, and the question is, what can we learn from those speed bumps? How do we grow from those experiences?

Recently on our trip to Canada, I had an experience that prompted the latter half of the title of this blog, Passing with Care. As Roger and I were walking to dinner a couple passed us on the snowy trail from the condo to the restaurant. After a moment or two, another couple passed us. I asked Roger, “Are we walking slow?” He kindly put his arm around my shoulder and said, “Well, yes, I think we are moving a little slower than they are.”

The truth is, of course we were. Lately I have been learning a lot about moving more slowly, even on the ski slopes. That particular day the slopes had been a bit icy, AND I am scheduled for hip replacement surgery in early March. So, each time I cut to the left, my hip felt the jolt. We had skied at Christmas and my hip had been ok. But the icy slopes in Canada had been harder for my hip to navigate. I was limping a bit as we traveled to dinner. We were moving more slowly.

Slower is a new word in my vocabulary. I have worked hard the last 20 years or so to embrace the mantra “slow and savor,” both spiritually and emotionally. However, few would describe our life, our schedule, and our physical activity as slow! “Full and fast” would be a better descriptor. We are extremely grateful for our health and all of the body parts that ARE working properly!

I am learning to accept that slow is not a bad word. We are beginning to look at my surgery and Roger’s upcoming knee replacement surgeries as speed bumps—the kind we don’t exactly look forward to, but which are necessary and that, if we are open to their lessons, will provide opportunities for growth. We will be diligent on moving with exercise and rehab to carefully, intentionally, and yes, slowly and with self-compassion, nurture our bodies to their healthiest potential.

I love this teaching from Kristin Neff: “A key ingredient of self-compassion is the ability to frame our experience of struggle and imperfection as part of the shared human experience. When we feel connected to our essential humanity, it's easier to shine the light of kindness inward. That's why it's so helpful to learn and sustain the practice of self-compassion with the support of others.” I believe that as we practice this type of self-compassion, we have a higher propensity to be compassionate with others as well, and a greater openness to Pass with Care…to hold space for others, to take time to lean in and listen, to savor and nurture the relationships we have.

This month, Roger and I will each share some of the unanticipated speed bumps from our lives that have taught us to Pass with Care – to walk with greater compassion and kindness, for ourselves and others. They will not be past traumas, nor will we be sharing sensitive, personal experiences, but we will share stories of things that have certainly slowed us down and caused us to pause in years past. We may not have welcomed these speed bumps at the time, but upon further reflection, each one prompted significant internal growth and development.

Our common humanity would suggest that each of us has had some speed bumps along the way and we can relate to one another. So as you read our stories, perhaps you can recall the speed bumps you’ve encountered in your own life. And if you’ve never done so before, perhaps you can try reflecting on how getting to the other side of each one led you to growth, however small or large, that you wouldn’t have experienced any other way. Reflecting on the speed bumps we have traversed through life can be opportunities to illuminate our minds to be able to see beauty, to strengthen our hearts to seek new possibilities, and to develop the ability to love others and love life.

We will share these experiences via daily Instagram and Facebook posts. If you are not on social media, you can check out the PDF here.